Parenthood Changes Your Life

Everyone tells you that having kids is a HUGE life change. And I can imagine it's an even greater change when your baby is a surprise or a little earlier than you would have planned. We thankfully waited several years before trying our hand at parenthood and because of that, felt like we were ready for this change of which people spoke. I just didn't realize exactly what they meant until now.

I originally assumed it was getting up at all hours of the night, not being able to go out whenever we want, and living the glamorous life of diaper changing, bottle making, baby bathing, and laundry doing, which of course it is, but it is also so much more.

You now have approximately 2 1/2 minutes of alone time in the bathroom before they come for you and stick their little hands under the door looking for you. (This is assuming they didn't actually see you sneak away.) This may also be accompanied by a loud scream if they are particularly upset that you abandoned them.

A good chunk of your workout may consist of helping your children do somersaults as they stick their little booties in the air next to you, as well as modifying the workout to accommodate a baby clinging to your legs or crawling across your crunching wanna-be abs. Note to self, do workouts during nap time.

At work, you feel like you should ask your patients if they would like a recitation of  "Mr Brown Can Moo" or "Is Your Mama A Lama" to go with their request for more water, pain pills, and extra pillows. I probably need to get into pediatrics...

Your internal radio play songs such as, The Wheels on the Bus, 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, and all the songs from Super Why.

Speaking of Super Why, you now critique it's writing, know all the songs, like to guess what the "Super Story Answer" is going to be with as few letters as possible, and have to see how it ends so you're not left hanging.

You used to take for granted being showered, clad in unstained clothes, and wearing makeup on any given day. Now that is saved for special occasions.

You can somehow direct any conversation to how cute your children are, completed with a picture of course.

You get jealous of things like strollers, carseats, and diaper bags. Seriously, there are cool baby things out there. And I want them all.

You tear up at any commercial, TV show, or movie that includes a clip of a baby. That is completely normal, right?

Shopping for yourself is a thing of the past. Now it's all about onesies, cute plaid shorts, little shoes, tiny sweater vests, and for us, anything that matches. If one tiny sweater vest wasn't cute enough, two is even better.

Browsing for something to eat in the fridge is a thing of the past. You better know exactly what you want and where it is or else this happens.

Oh and you better hope you don't need anything out of the dishwasher either.

Meal planning and early preparation is a must. Kiddos are the loudest, saddest, and clingiest at dinner time which makes for a rough time cooking. Instead you make dinner at 2:30pm when the kids nap and voila, you get dinner at a normal time and without crying babies on your hip and leg.

Wearing clothes does not guarantee modesty. Little hands grab anything as they clamber up and down, using me as a ladder. I apologize to anyone who has seen garments, bra straps, or worse...

But you have never known more love than when you welcome a child into your life. It truly is an amazing experience and your life will never be the same.