Why we love children.

I got this email from my dad and it cracked me up so I had to share!

Why we love children?

1) NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

2) OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents .'

3) KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.'

4) MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?'

5) POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old.. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, 'Are you a cop? Yes,' I answered and continued writing the report. My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?' 'Yes, that's right,' I told her. 'Well, then,' she said as she extended her foot toward me, 'would you please tie my shoe?'

6) POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. 'Is that a dog you got back there?' he asked. 'It sure is,' I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, 'What'd he do?'

7) ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by t he various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The tooth fairy will never believe this!'

8) DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit..' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning.'

9) DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: 'Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes.'

10) SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm just wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't write, and they won't let me talk!'

11) BIBLE A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found,' the boy called out. 'What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear!'

Our conversation

My husband makes me laugh. Here was our conversation we had about an hour ago:

Jesse: I'm large and in charge.
Jesse: I'm the man with the plan.
Jesse: I'm even steven.
Me: (Laughing my pants off) I should be writing these down. Hold those thoughts.
Jesse: They are already gone.
Jesse: I'm gone with the wind.
Me: (Rolling Laughter)

What does a balloon chaser do?

Well you may all wonder what one does as a balloon chaser. I decided to go find out because you can only believe so much Jesse says.... :)

Disclaimer: I do not know/use all the technical terms nor do I know all the intricate details, so if Jesse doesn't approve, there may be revisions!

Red Text = Jesse's Post-Blog-Post Commentarial Postings

On our way. Me to observe and picture take, and Jesse to work. Sounds like a great deal to me!


Actually it IS a good deal! The way it works is we get a flat rate for every flight we work, whether or not they take off. It works well for me cuz then I know as soon as I'm out of bed I've pretty much made my money.

This is to demonstrate that it's too early to be awake. It was beautiful though!

First things first. (Carefully) dump the basket onto the grass off the trailer.

Bob has a custom-built trailer with a Teflon floor and rollers on the ends. It makes it a lot easier to move the basket around. (And yes, basket IS the technical term for it.)

The envelope (the balloon part) fits into that bag. It looks pretty big but wait until you see the balloon!


That bag is also big enough for two people to have a small, sit-down picnic lunch inside it.Setting something up I'm sure.

This is us constructing the frame. We had taken it down after another flight to cover the basket because of weather.

Making sure all the cords are straight and not going to rub or break.

Yup. (Also, muscles)

This is the envelope all spread out. That little kid in front was going on a ride that day and was right there for the whole set up. He couldn't get enough and I thought it was adorable!

Jesse getting ready to turn on the fans. Pretty tough work right there.

ACTUALLY, darling, the fans are the most dangerous part of the setup. The fan I'm standing behind is the bigger of two that we use. It's got a tachometer on the side that tells me the blades spin at around 3700 gas-powered rpms (Tim Allen grunt).

Filling the balloon. They fill the 180,000 cubic feet balloon mostly with enormous and incredibly dangerous ground fans. Boggles my brain.

Notice how small and helpless and insignificant the people look next to that reality-shattering balloon. 180,000 cubic feet sounds big but this puts it into perspective.

It's really hard to see but there is a guy down there holding onto a rope that is connected to the top of the balloon controls it a little more. I can't even imagine the workout someone's muscles would get from holding down a HUGE hot air balloon.

That rope is called the "crown line" and it's used to minimize oscillations in the fully-inflated balloon. It's pretty much the second-worst job if you're on a balloon crew (depending on weather).

Jesse doing something important I'm sure...

Yup. These are the rotator vent lines. These allow the aeronaut to rotate the balloon for advertising purposes or to help the skirt catch a favorable wind.

This is the take down process... I saw it early because they had to take it down just after they set it all up because a life flight helicopter needed to land on the grass where they were. Unfortunate but a good thing to do. This is called "burping" the balloon.... and this is the first-worst most awful part about being on a balloon crew. You're basically fighting against 180,000 cubic feet of hot air and trying to force it out the top, which is no longer the top, cuz the balloon is on its side. We get all of us and we inch our way upward with our arms supporting most of the weight of the envelope.

The culprit of the early take down.

And they're finally off!

And that's most of what one does as a balloon chaser.

I skipped out on the actual chasing part (I decided to study in the car instead. Boring I know but you do what you gotta do). They jump in a car and follow the balloon. They communicate via walkie talkies and find a spot to land as they go. Pretty fun stuff!

What my schweetums wasn't able to report on was the landing, which is often done with a drop-line. That's basically 150 feet of seatbelt material that Bob throws at us and hollers, "Ok, now pull us over there," followed by lots of pointing. I'd write more but, ironically, I've got to meet Bob at 6:30 tomorrow for another flight so I'm gonna go get some shut-eye. Thanks for reading and commenting. It's nice to know people care *tear-wipe*.

P.S. Wanna hear a joke? Ok, here goes... ok...

What's green and goes through walls?

...

...

A frog if you throw it hard enough!

BuuuAAAAAAhahahahahaaaa!