1. Best excuse ever/you get out of things. If my house is a mess, dinner isn't cooked, and I look like something the cat dragged in, it's ok, because I have twins. After my twins came I did not have a visiting teaching assignment (this is when two ladies from our church are assigned to be partners and visit two-four other women in our ward once a month) until last month. Yes, one year of no visiting teaching assignment. And if you're a Mormon, you know that's a long time. Thankfully though my visiting teachers came faithfully during that year.
2. I don't have to prove anything. I feel like there are times when I am with other people who have a kid who try to help by picking up my child along with their child, as if they are proving they can balance two. I have no need to do this in front of people (unless of course it's necessary). I keep two small humans alive every single day. I don't need to prove anything to you. This principle coordinates with number one as well. I don't need to display a spotless house or have dinner always made. As much as I would love for that to happen, it's not realistic, but that's ok. My children are always fed, clothed, bathed, and for the most part, very happy.
Not to mention (again) ALIVE. Seriously, it is VERY difficult to keep two kids of the same age alive. Whether they're threatening each others' life or their own our home is a place of constant, unintentional peril. Babyproof all you want, these kids could find a sharp edge on a geometrically perfect sphere.
3. My arms and lap are always full. I'm constantly grabbing the boys out of places they're not supposed to be, holding them when they cry, or pull them into my lap while they drink some milk. There's nothing better than an armful of baby, and when there's two, there's just more to go around.
One amazing thing about Danielle is she has so much love that I've never felt one child was ever wanting, and I've never felt myself put in second place to our children either. There's enough love to go around for everyone and she drinks it in and dishes it out in equal measure, which is an incredible talent.
4. There's never a dull moment. There is always something going on at my house. There's either a baby tripping over the other baby, or they're making each other giggle, or I'm saving them from shutting the other's fingers in the door. I cannot take my eyes off them for a second but I love that I get to watch them grow so closely. I find I get a lot more done when I just have one baby awake, but those are also the moments I'm not paying as close attention to them.
Seriously, what's it like to just have one kid? We leapfrogged that whole phase so we have no idea. I've heard it's nice.
5. I have two chances of getting kisses. If one baby doesn't feel like giving his mama a kiss, I always have a second chance with my other little guy. And it's a bonus when they both feel like dishing out a little love.
Same thing goes for hilarious antics. If one kid is too distracted to do a trick, the other one will always oblige. "Ian, shake your booty. No? Briggs, scrunch your face. Awesome."
6. People talk behind your back. It's always fun to hear the loud whispers that escape as you walk by with your little circus. "Look at those twins." "Oh my goodness, there's two." "Look how cute those babies are." And the stares are fun too. Especially from little kids. They are always amazed to see two babies that look just alike. What I don't appreciate, are the comments of "Double Trouble" that come directly to my face though. For one, I don't want my children to always hear that people think they are trouble, and secondly, it's more double the fun and blessings than double the trouble at our house. And I make sure those people know how much I love my twins and what wonderful babies they are, we truly are doubly blessed.
6.5 Don't assume anything. This might be better labeled as point number -6 because it's kinda the opposite of something I love. I'm gonna vent a bit, so skip it if you're not in the mood. "Double Trouble" is kind of annoying, but my pet peeve is "Don't worry, it gets better!" That's making the assumption that our lives are terrible and we're just looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. I'll talk about how difficult twins are or how busy they are or how tiring they are, but my boys are also two of the three most awesome people I've ever met in my life. Our life, by extension, is super awesome and hearing someone assume we're struggling to keep our heads above water is kind of off-putting. I would much rather hear "Twins! Oh, what a blessing!" On the other hand, some people might take offense to that because they think you're belittling their day-to-day struggles. The most diplomatic thing you can say to someone about their multiples (in my opinion) is "That's amazing." I'll interpret that as "You're kids are amazingly cute and you're amazing for having them." People in the other camp will take it as "YOU'RE OUTSIDE! AMAZING!" Both ways are acceptable.
7.
You are instantly in a club. Once you have twins, you are unofficially initiated into the twin club. You have an unspoken bond and and understanding with people you have never met. They know exactly what your life is like and you, theirs. You know them from their knowing nods and quick comments of "my twins are 23, it just gets better."
This is subtly different from what I mentioned above. That word "just" changes it all around and makes this a totally acceptable thing to say. It's actually one of my favorites.
8.
Any baby after this will be easy. Or so we can assume. I guess we won't know until that day comes but that's what people say. I do wonder sometimes what it is like to just snuggle a baby without simultaneously hearing another baby crying about something. All too often I'm required to be stretched in two directions when I'd just like to sit and snuggle.
I hope this one's true, but deep down I really think all babies should come with a buddy like ours did. It seems foreign to think of just having one since our entire experience is with these two. I'm convinced that's how babies are meant to come and we just got it right on our first try.
9.
Everything is cuter in pairs. It just is. two babies sitting in high chairs is adorable. As are two cribs, two pairs of baby gym shorts, two babies dancing to music, or two little onesies.
I'm secure enough in my manhood to say that our kids are each as cute as a freaking button. Together, though? EXPONENTIALLY MORE ADORABLE.
10.
I don't compare. Everything is completely different when you have two. Sometimes I catch myself feeling bad that I don't take my boys out of the house every single day or doing big things with them, and then I remember that it's hard to take two babies out who are completely dependent on me. It's physically and emotionally draining, plus the world was not built for twins. Double strollers barely fit through doorways, grocery carts don't always have two seats, or as my mom has said, '"mommy and me" classes do not work for "mommy and me and me"' My life is different from everyone else. It's ok for us to do our own thing, find our own rhythm, and not compare to anyone else's accomplishments or family.
From time to time I wonder "Why won't our boys do any of the ASL signs we've taught them or say words yet or do this or that?" Then I remember every child is different and has different strengths. Your kid can count to ten? That's great! Let's put him in a cage match with one of mine and see how he handles a thumb to his eyeball. My kid'll shrug it off and keep coming at you, I can guaran-dang-tee you that.
