Stay-At-Home Wife

I currently am experiencing the unique pleasure of being a stay-at-home wife.(Jesse here. I'm also enjoying some of the benefits of a wife who stays at home. Husbaughts, as always, in red.) While I am thoroughly enjoying sleeping in, watching TV, and actually doing things around the house, I find myself putting strange things on my to-do list such as:

Fill hubby's (That's me.) water bottle and put it in the fridge

Eat lunch

Make bed

Really, who has to think about those things!? (Well, the Nutty Professor comes to mind. You're in good company cuz he's, like, a professor!) I may or may not be starting to lose my mind! Speaking of losing my mind: Just the other morning I cooked myself oatmeal thinking that would be a good healthy start to my day. It would have been, had I not completely forgotten about it! It was still nearly warm by the time I remembered but it just goes to show that if I don't put "eat breakfast" on my list it very well may not happen!

I happened to notice the lonely oatmeal sitting solitary on the stove (ALLITERATION), but having been trained by my wife to defer to her superior judgement in all things I assumed she was aware. Oh how the mighty have fallen. No longer is absent-mindedness the sole domain of the husband. Things like forgetting to don a tie or belt before going to church, or pouring myself a glass of juice only to find it untouched in the kitchen two days later are now found in the glad company of a few choice yet insignificant and endearing shortcomings of the wife. (RUN-ON SENTENCE) And yes, I appear to be lending grammatical commentary TO MY COMMENTARY. Deal with it.

At work I used to have a "handy, dandy notebook" where I kept track of all my tasks for the day. The guys I worked with would tell me specifically to write things in my magic notebook because somehow those things always got done. I took great pride in knowing I had found a system that helped me accomplish everything I needed to do and also made me appear awesome. I have since discovered that I have to keep a notebook with my daily to-dos at home as well for a few reasons:

1. I need something to keep me focused during the day or I may just lounge about and watch a whole season of Saved by the Bell on Netflix.

2. It helps me remember what I do all day so if Jesse doesn't happen to notice, I can slyly bring it up

3. To keep my spelling and penmanship up.

It's a strange phenomenon going from a working woman and full time student to not having a care in the world. Let's just say words such as "vacuum" quickly become difficult to spell! And forget all those years of trying to write "cute." That has gone right out the window!

It took me a couple of passes, but I think my wife means "trying to write cutely" or "in a hand which might be considered to be cute." Since I'm agnostic to whether or not the word "cute" can be correctly adverbialized, I'll allow this husbaught to clarify the point. Back to the story:

I am trying to adjust as I trade in my high heels, dress slacks, financial knowledge, and office environment for  sweatpants, cooking, sewing, vacuuming, organizing, and decorating. These days I sometimes shower and get all dolled up just to walk the tenth of a mile to get the mail since that is often my big outing for the day! 

I have also traded in a large group of human friends for many inanimate friends.

My vacuum (Hank) which keeps me company at least twice a week.

 My clorox wipes (Judith). Honestly how can you live without them?

My trusty tool kit (Blaze of Glory the First) which helps me assemble bookshelves, hang pictures on the wall, and makes me look tough.

  My sewing machine (Sally) that is trying to make its owner look cool despite the owner having very limited skills.

And of course my hot glue gun (Dirty Harry). 

For when things get serious.

As much as I love living the old lady life of "tinkering" around our apartment, hopefully I can find a job soon!